Eat, Pray, Love: My Solo Adventures in asia Part 2
By day 3 my excitement had begun to wear off and my anxiety was starting to set in. The reality was: I was in Bali without my luggage or any of my items of comfort. I was starting to freak out. My co-teachers were SO kind though. Everyone was constantly lending me clothes and toiletries and checking in with me mentally to make sure I was doing okay. I appreciated that and truly needed it, but the check-ins also made me constantly aware of the fact that things were NOT going as planned. And I am a PLANNER! So whenever anything in my life goes awry, it completely knocks me off balance. I was trying my best to stay present and not spiral, but as the days without my luggage dragged on it began to get more difficult. We were walking everywhere in the hot and humid weather plus doing yoga all day, so all I wanted to do was shower with my own toiletries and change my underwear in the evenings…but seeing as I only had 3 pair and we needed to shower twice a day, it was becoming increasingly difficult.
And being in Bali without luggage is not like being in America without luggage. There’s no Target or Walmart that has everything you need! It was SO hard to track down a store that sold underwear! But, at the end of day 3 my roomie and I found a couple shops and I bought an extra 3 pairs of underwear and some pants. And this calmed me down, just a tad. On day 4 I wore my new pants to class and my yoga teacher said, “Julia, I can’t see your form in those wide pants. You need to wear leggings next time.” It took everything in me not to burst into tears, because all of my leggings were dirty and all of the beautiful leggings I packed were sitting in freaking Sydney, Australia. One of my classmates offered to lend me a couple pairs of trousers and I was grateful. But, when I put on the pants…they were so tight on me and it just filled me with a terrible feeling of “otherness”. Everyone was soooo skinny and fit, they were super athletic and bendy, meanwhile I was curvy and significantly larger than everyone else. I wasn’t very athletic and while I thought I was decent at yoga, I actually sucked lol. Especially compared to one of my classmates who studied yoga in India from actual ancient yogi’s! I felt really green compared to everyone else. They were so worldly and cultured. They talked of their travels around the world and how they had been to Bali 4 or 5 times, how they were spending the next 6-12 months traveling, the different languages the spoke. And while their accomplishments weren’t supposed to take anything away from me…I felt so basic. I felt like a silly little American Black girl who had never truly seen the world, pretending to be a yogi, in an environment where she didn’t belong. And I wanted to go home.
When I got back to my room, my roommate asked me if I was okay and I immediately burst into tears. (The first of many in our three weeks together- thankfully we took turns crying and comforting the other). Tina told me, as she tried to find the words in English, that I was wonderful and beautifully made, that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, that she would support me with anything I needed and if I needed more clothes or toiletries she would find a way to get them to me, and that I couldn’t give up. She said that after only knowing me for 4 days, she knew I wasn’t a quitter. And that I was handling this way better than I realized, She said if it was her, she would have started freaking out way before day 4 lol. And she asked me to give it a few extra days, until the end of the first week. Tina said, “if you still feel like this by the end of the week, then I will support you leaving early and help you get back home. But, give yourself some grace and time to adjust. You don’t want to regret leaving before its time.” So, we hugged it out, I put on a brave face, and prepared myself mentally to get through the first week. By day 6, something began to shift.
We were finishing up our final week (because we had Sundays off) and my yoga instructor said, “Wow Julia, I already see so much improvement between day 1 and today.” I wanted to cry again, but this time from joy. The first week was HARD. It truly kicked my ass lol. I mean it was just ROUGH mentally, physically, and emotionally. But, the realization that despite the obstacles life was throwing at me, I was still growing and improving…it shifted something for me.
Every Saturday towards the end of class we would have a sharing circle. During the circle I ended up sharing with the group. I told them “This has been really hard for me, being this far away from home, being without my luggage, trying to get stronger, learning new yoga poses, and looking so different from everyone. But, when I wanted to hide…you all made me feel seen. I have felt so loved and cared for. The support and encouragement helps me to keep going when things get hard.” And by this point, I was sobbing. And my classmates were getting emotional. And they were like, “What do you mean…look different?” They hadn’t given my skin color or my body type a second thought. And after class so many came up to me and told me how beautiful I was and how my aura shined so brightly and how I should never feel different because my presence makes the group complete. (I seriously couldn’t have been with sweeter people).
I was still calling Qantas everyday begging to get my bag back, and they were completely unresponsive. I couldn’t get through via phone, email, whatsapp, carrier pigeon, It was insane. By the end of week 2, I decided that I could only control what I could control and it was time to surrender. I drove 2 hours out to the beach mall to get clothes, shoes and toiletries. And of course, the moment I decided to “let go” and that I didn’t need my bag, it arrived. (On the anniversary of my dad’s passing at that- thanks for watching over me big guy). And it’s funny because by the time my bag FINALLY arrived, I didn’t even want it anymore! It felt like it was weighing me down, and I realized I definitely overpacked! My next international trip, I’ll definitely be carry-on mami! Everyone was so happy for me when my luggage finally arrived, including the resort staff who actually cheered haha :) It definitely felt like being part of a huge supportive family. And the girl I met at the airport, Margaret, was also relieved when my bag arrived (hers arrived 9 days before mine somehow). Margaret would check-in regularly to send me encouraging texts to help me keep going. That’s one of the things I loved about solo traveling, you can meet a complete stranger that turns intofamily in an instant. I’ll forever be grateful for her kindness and support.
Going into the last week with my luggage gave me renewed confidence though. I felt like myself again and there was something so refreshing about being able to shower and change whenever I felt like it lol. Around this time was also the Chinese New Year! I didn’t know much about the holiday, but one of my new friends was from China so we celebrated together. She took me to a Chinese restaurant after class and we enjoyed dinner together. It was the best Chinese food I’ve ever had. The Asian food in Bali was phenomenal, especially the Indian food. Yum! The next day my friend from China, Kexin, and I joined our classmates at a sound bath healing. (I was into trying all the new experiences at this point). The sound bath was definitely very “new age” and it felt a little culty as we laid down on beds all around the room and let the sounds wash over us. The “leader” mentioned that the south bath could stir up a LOT of emotions and you may feel it in your dreams. They were NOT wrong because whew! For the next 4-5 nights I kept having the most VIVID dreams over and over again, about needing to let go of something from my past. I felt like the universe could not have sent me a clearer sign and it felt like my body was purging itself of the things I needed to release.
Because I wanted to keep saying “Hell Yes!” to new experiences, when one of my classmates (a 25 year old American influencer) asked me if I wanted to come with her on a motorbike to check on a villa for her upcoming retreat, I said hell yes! Now, I may have mentioned the streets of Bali being narrow in an earlier blog post. But what I failed to mention is that a motorbike is the fastest way to get around the island. Because the lanes are so narrow and there’s SO many people, taking a bike gets you to your location in half the time. We used the Grab app (it’s like uber for Asia) to call our bikes, and soon we were jetting through the streets of Bali. Being on the back of a bike felt terrifying and exhilarating. I felt so free and at peace, although I kept thinking, “My mom would kill me if she saw what I was doing” lol. It was so much fun testing out the villa, seeing a different part of Ubud, and spending time away from class with a new friend. We went to a place called Acai Queen after to relax and I got to try my first Acai bowl. Acai (I’m a big fan).
The next day my classmates and I got to visit Tirta Empul to participate in a holy water temple ritual. We were fortunate to have a local Balinese guide who shared with us the meaning behind the ritual and even walked us through how the Balinese create their offerings for the temple. We learned that the offerings show gratitude for the present moment and represents a wish for peace and abundance in the world. Each color flower has a different meaning and serves as a reminder to the Balinese to keep their smile and have joy in their hearts. People in Bali are noticeably happier than people in the USA, and I think it’s because they take the time to be grateful for all of the beauty and wonder around them and prioritize being connected to each moment. After the offering, we entered the first pool to partake in the ritual. The three pools represented healing for your mind, body, and soul- each fountain had it’s own meaning as well.
At each fountain you wash your face in the water three times, sip the water three times and then dip your head under the fountain. I actually took a small sip of the water because they showed us the natural spring it derives from, but normally in Bali you NEVER drink the water. It was an emotional ritual for me and all of my classmates. When it was over, we are shared how transformed we felt. Bonus: the holy water also made our skin incredibly soft haha. Overall, it was such a beautiful experience and I’m grateful that we had a guide to walk us through the process to ensure that we understood the importance of the ritual we were participating in. You don’t have to have a guide to visit the temple, so many tourists go without understanding the rules or the significance of their actions.
On our last Sunday my friend Kexin and I decided to book an all day tour of Bali. We had been in class for three weeks straight and hadn’t had much time to explore. Our tour guide picked us up at 4:30am and we were SO tired! Thankfully it was about a two hour ride to our first location (The Gates of Heaven) and we slept the whole way there. I’m so grateful that we got there early because it quickly got super crowded as the morning went on. We were able to visit the temple and take pictures at the gates, learn about the temples, and explore the local markets.
After we finished touring the gates, we visited Tirta Gangga- a former royal palace named after the holy river in India. We were able to visit the floating stones and beautiful koi fish, we even got to feed them too! After we spent about an hour exploring, it was time for lunch! We went to a beautiful venue overlooking the rice field and jungle. The local food was delicious and after lunch we even got to ride the infamous Bali swing. I’m not going to lie to yall, the swing was terrifying. My stomach was in knots and you’re only tied in with a rope around your waist as they throw you over a cliff. But, the pictures and videos turned out to be fire soooo I’d say it was worth it!
After lunch we drove to Tukad Cepung- a waterfall located inside a cave! We had to hike down a bit and then walk through a big cave to reach it. The views of the falls inside the cave were absolutely stunning. Unfortunately, our energy was beginning to deplete after being up for about 8 hours at that point. Lol. Thankfully, all that was left was the coffee plantation and that was MUCH less strenuous and more chill. The coffee plantation was our final stop of the tour and we enjoyed sampling 12 different coffees and teas that were grown on location. It was cool to see how the coffee was made. My friend Kexin shared that my favorite tea flavor, Rosella, is actually very popular in China. We were exhausted after a 12 hour day of adventure! But, thankfully we only had 2.5 days of class left.
I initially planned on staying in Bali for an extra 5 days after our last day of class so that I could explore and immerse myself in more culture. However, after talking to my classmates about their travels…I decided to be adventurous and extend my trip to include Singapore and Thailand. (I’ll talk more about my graduation, Singapore, and Thailand in part 3!)
