Naomi, Simone, &Me: Black Women and Mental Heath
Originally posted: September 2021
This week is suicide prevention week, so I want to take a minute to highlight an invisible injury that people don’t talk about enough: Depression and Anxiety. TW: Suicide
This summer, Naomi Osaka and Simone Biles shined a bright light on a dark issue that’s often swept under the rug: Mental Health. For me, as someone that has spent the majority of 2021 wrestling with my mental health and trying to get a handle on my anxiety and depression, I felt seen for the first time in a long time. But I also grieved for them. As a Black woman, we are always taught to be strong, but there is so much power in being vulnerable. And in the word’s of the GOATS, “it’s okay to not be okay.”
I grieved for Naomi and Simone, because even though I felt seen and immediately empathized with them because I personally understood how difficult is is to try to keep pushing forward when mentally you may be falling apart, the world tried to shame them for their mental health struggles. Although the majority of the comments were positive and understanding, there were many comments (some from people I considered friends or associates) that berated them, joked about their mental health, called them weak, and dismissed it as “not a real issue.” It takes incredible courage to be able to come forward and share that you’re not okay, it takes even more courage to be able to do that on a national level. I can’t imagine the pressure, fear, anxiety, or sadness these women must have felt. For myself, speaking up came with fear, shame, and brief moments of regret. Even as I type this blog, I still wrestle with the stigma that comes with publicly admitting you have mental health struggles.
And although Naomi and Simone were publicly praised, many of those same people offering praise for public personas may also shun those closest to them when they see them struggling. It’s the same with suicide, when celebrities end their lives, we often are shocked and don’t understand how someone that seemingly has it all, could want it to end. But the reality is that mental health isn’t as simple as supporting someone when they’re sad and being there for them when they finally admit that they’re struggling. Mental health struggles can look like someone pushing or pulling away when their thoughts get overwhelming, it could look like hypersensitivity, harsh words, erratic behavior, and/or constantly seeking reassurance due to self doubt. These overwhelming and constant emotions can often lead “seemingly happy” people to experience suicidal thoughts, not because they want their lives to end, but because they want the pain to end.
Feeling suicidal often feels like an intense feeling of loneliness even when surrounded by people that love you, it feels like an endless cycle of being trapped in your negative thoughts that makes you believe the worst about yourself, it makes you feel like a burden and tells you that your loved ones would be better off without you, and it can take away your hope that you will survive and make it to a moment when the pain isn’t as intense.
It takes a lot of courage to speak up and let others know that you’re not okay, but it also takes a lot of courage to keep going day to day, even if you haven’t found your voice yet. For many people that experience these thoughts of depression, anxiety, and hopelessness, they deal with it in isolation. Because as progressive as we are getting with mental health, there is still a stigma attached to it. No one wants to feel “crazy.” We don’t want to be viewed differently or treated differently. And most people, I would like to think, are well meaning when it comes to supporting people with mental health. But, it’s unfamiliar and complicated and unexpected for many, so if you haven’t directly experienced anxiety/depression/or suicidal thoughts, you may not know how to respond. Maybe you pull away, or you say the wrong thing, or you may be insensitive or judgmental. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, but if you have a loved one that has struggled or is struggling with their mental health, I hope that you will take this moment to reflect on how you can better support them and care for them.
As it stands, mental illness is the only known disorder that carries a stigma of shame, guilt, and societal judgment so great that often the only recourse for relief is suicide. Until we as a society can show the same compassion and empathy towards mental illness and addiction that we do towards other diseases, we will continue to lose our children, parents, friends, and idols to something that is more times than not, preventable.- Katy Peiters-Haslar
I hid the fact that I wasn’t okay for months. I tried to put on a brave face and excel at my job and in my relationships. When I finally found the courage to take a step back from work and try to take care of myself, I lost my job. Suddenly, I had no choice but to address my mental health and nothing but time to pour into myself and get myself to a healthy mental place, and it was honestly the best thing that could have happened to me (even though it didn’t feel like it at the time). Naomi and Simone set a really important precedent when they stepped back from work to prioritize their mental health: Take time for yourself when you need it and take care of yourself. As Black women, we often care about everything and everyone, and end up neglecting ourselves. So often we sacrifice our well being and our peace for the success and joy of others. And when we finally make time to make ourselves a priority, we feel guilty. We feel selfish. Sometimes even ashamed.
For some, pulling out of the French Open and the Olympics seemed extreme. But those that have struggled with their mental health know and understand that sometimes it takes bold and extreme actions to make sure that YOU are okay. And YOU need to come first. That job will always be there and anything that is truly meant for you, will not miss you. The bold moves of Naomi and Simone have led to much needed conversations around mental health and are helping to alleviate the stigma attached. Their courage was a ray of light for so many Black women that have neglected their self care and mental health in order to be strong Black successful women. We can’t continue putting everyone else first and ourselves second. Especially in a damn pandemic.
Dr. Joshua Gordon, director of the National Institute of Mental Health, says there’s no denying that COVID-19 has pushed mental health front and center in a way it wasn’t before. The question is whether that heightened attention is making it easier for people to share and acknowledge mental health struggles. “We know the pandemic increased the demand for conversations around mental health,” he says. “Did it accelerate the trajectory toward acceptance of mental illness? My own personal opinion is that it likely did.”
This pandemic has caused so much loss, trauma, and stress for millions across the globe. It has left us in isolation and wrestling with feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. It has us mourning people that we love and lost, and also mourning the memories and events that were taken from us. It has disrupted our peace and stability and left many of us feeling depressed and anxious. And while the physical effects of the pandemic disproportionally have been impacting elders, the mental effects have had a stronghold on young adults.
The pandemic has caused an increase in mental health issues for many people, but especially young adults. About 30% of people aged 18 to 25 years report having a diagnosis of a mental illness in the preceding year, which means this age group already represents a higher risk group. Even more concerning, the impact of mental health issues can be graver in this age group than in any other; suicide is the second leading cause of death among those aged 10 to 34. More young people are also visiting the emergency room for mental health conditions, and also turning to crisis intervention services like hotlines or online therapy. But whether this represents a baseline increase in rates of mental health issues in this group, or a greater willingness of younger people to admit and seek help for mental health problems, breaking the decades-old stigma associated with doing so, isn’t quite clear yet. Source: https://time.com/6088078/mental-health-olympics-simone-biles/
“Different people have different levels of risk and resilience against mental health issues in general, but for those who have other risk factors for mental illness, stressful situations can precipitate episodes of symptoms,” says Gordon.
I’m not sure how your mental health has been impacted in the last year, however, I want to encourage you to speak up and get help. Whether it’s confiding in your trusted friends and family or seeking counseling from a licensed health professional or anonymously dialing into a crisis hotline- there is support out there for you and there is help for whatever issue you may be struggling with. It’s okay to not be okay. Lets break the stigma around mental health and find the courage to use our voice to get the help that we need.
And if you are not struggling with your mental health, I hope you will use this blog as a gentle reminder to check on someone in your life who may be struggling and give them some extra love and kindness today.
Another Good Read:
https://parkdalecenter.com/why-prp/blog/item/67-depression-the-silent-killer
Places for help:
https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
https://www.nami.org/Home
