A Prayer: For Those Grieving an Empty Seat at The Thanksgiving Table
So, it’s thanksgiving. I expected to wake up this morning with a grateful heart…but instead I woke up crying. Grief is one of those things that hits you at the most random times. One day you’re fine, heck even on the same day you may feel great, and the next moment you’re overwhelmed with emotions.
The holidays are such a beautiful time of the year. But, they also can be a time of great pain. Because every holiday, we can’t help but think of the person that’s not here…the empty seat at the table. Whether you’re grieving the death of a loved one, a breakup/divorce, an estranged friend, or even your pet…today is one of those days that you FEEL the absence. And it usually doesn’t feel good. It’s important to let yourself feel and grieve, but also understand that a hard moment doesn’t mean it has to be a hard day.
I was NOT planning on blogging on Thanksgiving. But this morning as I cried out to God to take this pain away, he replaced it with so much peace and comfort. And then he whispered to my heart “This pain and this healing is not for only you, but so you can share this light with the world.” So, I want to share a very vulnerable, imperfect, and honest prayer that I wrote in my prayer journal this morning. After I prayed this prayer, I felt so much lighter and freer, and I hope this prayer brings you the same peace and restoration that it brought me.
The Prayer:
Dear God,
Thank you for waking me up this morning. To be honest with you, I didn’t wake up entirely grateful on this day of Thanksgiving. You have blessed me with so many wonderful things to be thankful for this year and answered so many of my prayers. I feel incredibly blessed to celebrate another year of my uncle’s life on his birthday today, I’m so grateful for the health and safety of my family, I’m very grateful for the gift of sisterhood with my amazing girlfriends and line sisters that love me unconditionally, I’m thankful for my job, my growth, my relationship with you, the roof over my head and the food that will be in my belly. But it’s hard not to think about the things/people that are missing from my life.
Please help me to train my brain to think about what I do have and not what I believe I’m lacking. It’s hard on a day like today , when I’m supposed to be grateful and I’m supposed to be thankful…because my mind wonders to who and what’s not here. I know I can’t get to this place of gratitude on my own Lord. To be completely transparent, I don’t feel strong enough and I don’t even know if I want to. This pain has been part of me for so long, who am I if I let it go? Does that mean I’m moving on or forgetting? Am I betraying the memories or the love shared? How do I go about my day and lean into joy? How do I trust you with the good things I still have?
To be honest….I’m afraid to be too happy or too peaceful, because what if something happens to shake up my joy and my peace? I know this means I’m not trusting you enough and I’m probably leaning on my own understanding. It’s just that I always had this idea of how my life would look , especially on the holidays and it’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you never promised me this vision for my life. You never promised that my life would be perfect or without pain/loss. You actually said my life would have troubles ( John 16:33) , I guess I just conveniently ignored that part.
As much as this hurts for me, I pray that you will help me to take my focus off my own pain and grief, and place my eyes on you and your goodness. Please help me to reset my expectations for life and please help me to understand that as much as I hate this feeling, at some point, we will all experience loss and grief and this is just my season. Please remind me that good times will still come and beauty can exist in the midst of pain.
This process is much harder than I envisioned, Lord. But, I know you have equipped me to handle everything that life throws at me through your strength, power, and grace. Please remind me that my hope shouldn’t be because my life is without sadness, trouble, or pain…but in knowing YOU are the one who will get me through it. I love you SO much Lord. Thank you for meeting me in my broken place and not allowing me to stay here. Thank you for picking up the pieces to my broken heart and using them to create a masterpiece.
I feel lighter already, and I know that’s all you. I feel so much peace knowing that when these moments of grief arise, all I have to do is call out to you and you will answer me every time.
There are people all over the world today hurting like I am hurting, maybe even deeper than I am hurting. I pray that you will grant them peace and joy that surpasses their understanding. Please help them to honor their loved ones memory and also create space for new memories and new joy. Please help them trust in you. Please help them trust that this is just a momentary affliction and the dark clouds will pass and sun WILL shine again. Please fill their hearts and their lives with love, laughter, and light. On this day to give thanks, I just want to thank you for walking with us through our darkest moments. Thank you for never leaving us or forsaking us. And most importantly, thank you for always loving us and always being you. I know we can conquer anything, with you by our side.
In Jesus name,
Amen
Here’s a few verses that I meditated on this morning that helped with my grief and I hope may be a comfort to you and yours:
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Psalm 34:18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 119:28 My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
John 16:20 Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy.
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Isaiah 61:3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
Romans 15:3 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
I pray that this Holiday season, you will let God fill the space in your heart caused by the empty seat at your holiday table. I know today may be hard, but it does get better. Sending you all of the love and care. <3